9.23.24 ~ How to make your memory last

 Good morning!

With Yom HaKippurim coming soon, internal desires to have the most intimate relationship with our Bridegroom King becomes more and more realistic (Lev. 26:26-32).  What's wonderful about this desire is that it fits perfectly with every aspect of our lives, emotionally, physically, relationally and financially .

Let me share with you three practical questions that you can ask the Lord, your spouse, your children, a potential boss, or anyone in any realm of your life ... guaranteed 100%, regardless of which venue, to revolutionize your relationship(s).

Over the years we have talked about 'confirmation bias' and its negative effects on our ability to transform our lives out of the rut (a coffin with both ends kicked out) to higher grounds. Today, I want to express to you the exact opposite: reverse cognitive bias. Huh?

But first, let's get a handle on reverse cognitive bias. Reverse cognitive bias reengineers our stagnant perceptions by seeing something from the finish line, taking inventory where I'm at and applying the necessary changes to make the ultimate goal a reality. For instance, if you want to have the best vacation, you can ask your kids, spouse or..., 'imagine that we are done with our one week vacation to the coast.' What were the best things you enjoyed about the trip?' By reverse engineering your bias, you can focus your activities on making sure the memory is long lasting. This works for your life, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, physically and financially. Let's look at some ways to make it happen.

Question #1: What are your responsibilities in our relationship and what is the best thing I could do to contribute to your success?

Question #2: Six months from now... I want you to look back and say, 'I'm sure glad (your name) joined our staff or joined our group or married me or...What MUST I always do and what MUST I NEVER do to make sure you're  glad I'm on your 'team'?

Question #3: What job or task is great for our 'group success', but no one wants to do it?

Whether it's a job interview, a date night, a group meeting, a home fellowship, or ... these three questions, employed by any individual (in any of the five categories of life, are guaranteed to create a close bond. How can I be so sure? These three questions are centered on servant leadership, not authoritarian leadership (Phil. 2:3-9).

Try it on your next date night or deacon meeting or family council meeting or ... write down the answers. Repeat them back to the person or group. Commit to doing it and watch the fruit blossom on your relational vine.

Happy feast season!

Shalom

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

11.22.24 ~ The Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Good morning! Happy Preparation Day! When I was a child, I was taught to say thank you. And if I did something wrong, I was told to say, 'I'm sorry'.  Which begs to ask the question: "why are there so many poorly trained adults? Why do so many adults find it hard to say I’m sorry? or even thank you enough? Enquiring minds want to know! Recently, a research project was released from Carnegie Mellon University that answers the question. Let me summarize the findings. The paper introduces a framework to explain what is called the responsibility exchange theory. It is used to explain why giving thanks and apologizing, as well as bragging and blaming others matters so much, and why we have such a hard time exchanging the right words at the right time. Here’s the conundrum, while thank you and I’m sorry, makes the speaker appear caring or generous, and I’d add not raised in a barn by barbarians, they fear it is at the cost of seeming incompetent or weak.  Then there is the o...
Read more

4.10.25

Good morning! The offerings/korbanot were indeed a source of joy and favor every time they were brought to the Temple or Tabernacle. For instance, when the Temple was being dedicated under Solomon's kingship, they had this incredible feast. The nation feasted on these thanksgiving and peace offerings; 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep and goats (2 Chron. 7:5; 1 King. 8:63) and the glory of the Lord, as with the Tabernacle in Exodus 40, filled the Temple (2 Chron. 7:2). There was great joy in the presence of the Lord! And we have this covenantal intimacy because the offerings/korbanot expressed love, joy, loyalty and gratitude.  Let me speak very briefly to one common objection, particularly in a modern sense. Yeah, OK, fine, but still weird! OK, Solomon's dedication doesn't seem consistent with blood and guts, splashing blood, limbs cut off and burning on an altar to appease an angry god for the sinful disobedience of mankind; it is so barbaric. It's disgusting. How could G...
Read more

12.4.24 ~ She's worth it!

Good morning! Part of our dust bunny dysfunction comes from our growing up days and the coping mechanisms we learned to survive. In this week's Torah portion, Vayetze/and he left, we see the results of a divided house where there was favoritism and the 'dust bunny' coping mechanisms that develop as a result. We'll make a comparison between the two 'ladders that reach to heaven (tower of babel and the Ladder in Jacob's dream) and the reason why Jacob wept when he saw the woman of his dreams; in search of his own bosom and tent, a wife (Deut. 13:6); A wife is a man's bosom.  Sarah is Abraham's bosom.   Sarah's Tent comforts those who dwell in Abraham's bosom with bread, light, and the Presence of the Lord (Gen. 24:67). For those, after death, who have the privilege of waiting for the resurrection in Abraham's bosom, there is the comfort of Sarah's tent (Lk. 16:19-31).  Yeshua, through His own life, demonstrated all three signs of Sarah'...
Read more