10.2.24 ~ Pouring my heart and my soul out to God
Good morning!
Whether you view today as Yom Teruah/Day of Trumpets, traditionally, Rosh HaShanah/head of the new year or the 1st day of Sukkot, the Fall Feast Season of the Lord has powerful life lessons to consider.
1 Samuel chapter 1 tells the story of Hannah, the childless wife of Elkanah, later, and miraculously to become, who came to Shiloh (where the Sanctuary stood before King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem) to pray for a child.
The narrative tells us she was pained and wept terribly (1 Sam. 1:7-10). It was through this pain that she vowed a vow of dedication to the Lord, if He would give her a child (1 Sam. 1:11).
The High Priest, only looking at the outward appearance, accused her of being drunk (1 Sam. 1:14). She humbly replied, 'no, no, my master, I'm pouring my soul out to God. Please don't think of me as inappropriate here in the Temple' (1 Sam. 1:15,16).
Eli, after correcting his erroneous perspective, grants her request to have a child and within a year she has a boy named Samuel/asked from God (1 Sam. 1:17-20). After weaning him, she fulfilled her vow to dedicate him to the service of God by bringing him to Shiloh, where he was raised by Eli and the priests. Samuel grew up to become one of the greatest prophets of Israel.
At first blush, the story seems to make no sense at all...But, the story of the pain of a woman who craves a child and cannot fulfill her dream is profound beyond words.
Unlike the Patriarch wives who were barren, this woman comes to the sanctuary to plead with God for a child, and the High Priest/kohen gadol of Israel, considered the spiritual master of the age, considers her a drunkard, demanding from her to go sober up, join AA, and then come back and pray when you're less tipsy? Could the spiritual leader of Israel at the time not distinguish between a plastered drunkard and a sincere worshipper? How callous, clueless, and insensitive can one be? Just because she is whispering her prayers in silence, and she seems deeply disturbed, does it mean she is inebriated? Enquiring minds want to know!
Though it appears that Eli was heartless, maybe he was struck by an enigma. He saw a woman who on one hand seemed broken-hearted, devastated, and grief-stricken. But when he looked again, he saw simultaneously a person projecting serenity, confidence, joy, and inner calmness. How can both emotions coexist in the same person at the same time? They can’t unless he or she is… smashed!
Maybe you've seen or experienced someone who was plastered: they cry one moment; then break out in laughter the next. They are unpredictable, inconsistent, and erratic. They love you and then a moment later hate you. They hug you and then they curse you. They kiss you and they smite you. They are happy, and they are sad. They are unbalanced physically, verbally, and mentally. Eli thus presumed that Hannah must be sloshed. That’s why she can cry and laugh at the same time.
Hannah understands his thinking (1 Sam. 1:15,16). Hannah is explaining to Eli who she is. She is broken. She is scared. She carries a deep pain in her soul. She wants a child, and she can’t have one. Her life is tinged by sadness and she can’t deny that. How then can she be full of vitality and be filled with an inner serenity and majesty? She continues to tell Him, that's why I'm pouring my soul before God. I have a God to speak to, so my brokenness and sadness are tempered by a sense of calmness and grandeur. She is both bruised and whole; she is full of anguish but also full of rapture. She feels dejected but also embraced. She is scared but she is also a whole. Not because she is drunk, but because she has a God whom she can speak to openly, intimately, to whom she can pour out her soul.
I'm praying. I'm talking to Him. Will He answer? I'm not sure, but the very fact that I am able to come and talk to God, gives me a measure of peace. The fact that I feel I am not alone, someone is holding my hand, as I tread the rough terrain of this planet, someone is listening to me, someone cares to know how I am feeling—that itself provides me with a sense of calmness.
During this season of joy, with wars (externally and internally), with hurricanes (inside and out) destroying homes, it's nice to know that I can pour out my heart and my soul to God. I can just talk to God without a script, knowing that the universe is not deaf to my plight and my anguish. I do not know what He will do about my conversation, but I can reach out and talk to Him heart to heart.
Chag Sameach!
Shalom
Commercial: last night's zoom call: The Bridal Garments Pt. 6: obtaining the garments for the future Sukkot Celebration (Matt. 16:24-17:8)
1 Samuel chapter 1 tells the story of Hannah, the childless wife of Elkanah, later, and miraculously to become, who came to Shiloh (where the Sanctuary stood before King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem) to pray for a child.
The narrative tells us she was pained and wept terribly (1 Sam. 1:7-10). It was through this pain that she vowed a vow of dedication to the Lord, if He would give her a child (1 Sam. 1:11).
The High Priest, only looking at the outward appearance, accused her of being drunk (1 Sam. 1:14). She humbly replied, 'no, no, my master, I'm pouring my soul out to God. Please don't think of me as inappropriate here in the Temple' (1 Sam. 1:15,16).
Eli, after correcting his erroneous perspective, grants her request to have a child and within a year she has a boy named Samuel/asked from God (1 Sam. 1:17-20). After weaning him, she fulfilled her vow to dedicate him to the service of God by bringing him to Shiloh, where he was raised by Eli and the priests. Samuel grew up to become one of the greatest prophets of Israel.
At first blush, the story seems to make no sense at all...But, the story of the pain of a woman who craves a child and cannot fulfill her dream is profound beyond words.
Unlike the Patriarch wives who were barren, this woman comes to the sanctuary to plead with God for a child, and the High Priest/kohen gadol of Israel, considered the spiritual master of the age, considers her a drunkard, demanding from her to go sober up, join AA, and then come back and pray when you're less tipsy? Could the spiritual leader of Israel at the time not distinguish between a plastered drunkard and a sincere worshipper? How callous, clueless, and insensitive can one be? Just because she is whispering her prayers in silence, and she seems deeply disturbed, does it mean she is inebriated? Enquiring minds want to know!
Though it appears that Eli was heartless, maybe he was struck by an enigma. He saw a woman who on one hand seemed broken-hearted, devastated, and grief-stricken. But when he looked again, he saw simultaneously a person projecting serenity, confidence, joy, and inner calmness. How can both emotions coexist in the same person at the same time? They can’t unless he or she is… smashed!
Maybe you've seen or experienced someone who was plastered: they cry one moment; then break out in laughter the next. They are unpredictable, inconsistent, and erratic. They love you and then a moment later hate you. They hug you and then they curse you. They kiss you and they smite you. They are happy, and they are sad. They are unbalanced physically, verbally, and mentally. Eli thus presumed that Hannah must be sloshed. That’s why she can cry and laugh at the same time.
Hannah understands his thinking (1 Sam. 1:15,16). Hannah is explaining to Eli who she is. She is broken. She is scared. She carries a deep pain in her soul. She wants a child, and she can’t have one. Her life is tinged by sadness and she can’t deny that. How then can she be full of vitality and be filled with an inner serenity and majesty? She continues to tell Him, that's why I'm pouring my soul before God. I have a God to speak to, so my brokenness and sadness are tempered by a sense of calmness and grandeur. She is both bruised and whole; she is full of anguish but also full of rapture. She feels dejected but also embraced. She is scared but she is also a whole. Not because she is drunk, but because she has a God whom she can speak to openly, intimately, to whom she can pour out her soul.
I'm praying. I'm talking to Him. Will He answer? I'm not sure, but the very fact that I am able to come and talk to God, gives me a measure of peace. The fact that I feel I am not alone, someone is holding my hand, as I tread the rough terrain of this planet, someone is listening to me, someone cares to know how I am feeling—that itself provides me with a sense of calmness.
During this season of joy, with wars (externally and internally), with hurricanes (inside and out) destroying homes, it's nice to know that I can pour out my heart and my soul to God. I can just talk to God without a script, knowing that the universe is not deaf to my plight and my anguish. I do not know what He will do about my conversation, but I can reach out and talk to Him heart to heart.
Chag Sameach!
Shalom
Commercial: last night's zoom call: The Bridal Garments Pt. 6: obtaining the garments for the future Sukkot Celebration (Matt. 16:24-17:8)
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