4.13.25

Good morning!

Our Underground Bible Study was a complete success thanks to the hard work of the youth leaders, parents, and the students who wholeheartedly put their heart into the Matthew 24 study. For me, personally, it capped off an amazing Sabbath day of love and ministry thanks to the loving care of some servant-hearted people. I'm always learning from these givers!

You may recall with your Passover celebration that there were four questions that came up during the traditional seder, emphasising four different children.  Enquiring minds want to know: "where do these questions come from"?

Many of you know that there are four references to the Passover celebration; 3 in Exodus, and 1 in Deuteronomy at the end of the 40 years in the wilderness/bamidbar.

"When you enter the land that God will give you as He promised, observe this ceremony. And when your children say to you, 'What does this ceremony mean to you?' then tell them, 'It is the Passover sacrifice to God, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians." (Ex. 12:15-27)

"On that day tell your son, 'I do this because of what God did for me when I came out of Egypt." (Ex. 13:8)

In days to come, when your son asks you, 'What does this mean?' say to him, 'With a mighty hand, God brought us out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. (Ex. 13:14)

In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees, and laws the Lord our God has commanded you?" tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but God brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. (Deut. 6:20)

Why the need for four separate passages? Isn't that a little overkill? Possibly even a little redundant? Oh no! Especially when we look at the verses carefully...With a 'Sherlock Holmes' detective kit we might see four different children or ourselves with 4 different mindsets when it comes to the Passover season...or in this season of life :-)

To begin with, let's remember that the Torah can be a little intimidating to each of our children, but we cannot speak in the same way, with the same language, to each child. What modern education techniques have discovered in the last half-a-century, the Torah has articulated 3300 years ago by communicating the story of the Exodus in four passages, in four different ways, addressing four different types of children. Each child requires an individual dialect relating to his or her composition, challenges, and strengths.

Within these passages we find four different types of children (of any age): The wise son, the rebellious son, the simple one, and the one who knows not to ask.

Despite their differences, all of them are our beloved children. They are not strangers; they are our flesh and blood. None of them should ever be rejected. Masterfully, the Torah does not speak to one genre of children; rather, it addresses all of them, containing life-messages for each of the four children. If we can’t find the words for each of them, it is because we are not accessing the full wisdom of Torah. The Torah message to each child is distinct. You can’t speak the same words to two children.

As I continue to learn from leaders, on this trip, before they communicate, they must know your audience well. You need to spend time understanding the unique persona, both strengths and challenges of your "audience," of your children, so that you can address each of them appropriately, in a way that might enter their hearts.

Let me warn you ahead of time, this isn't really about the 4 different types of children who attend your seder or Bible study, it's really the child within each of us that constantly asks these questions.

The wise or intellectual child wants to know the meaning of all the words, stipulations, decrees and laws. Their attentive students, thoughtful, reflective, and inquisitive. They love all the facts, but get bogged down with the commandments that don't fit our modern culture. I.e. How could a rational Harvard or FSU Grad, in the 21st century, believe that eating crunchy matzah on Pesach is a holy act? How about using a mikvah instead of a baptistry? And can shrimp be so bad? Does God even know the difference between fake and real crab? Does a logical God really care if I create a delicious meal on Shabbat? Do I really need to count 50 days between firstfruits and Pentecost? Why all of these strange laws and rituals?

The most profound matters in life are often beyond our rational grasp. After all the amazing discoveries in science and cosmology, is there a single human being who truly understands the mysteries of the universe? Even the untold brilliance of a single genome in a single cell is beyond the grasp of three pounds of grey matter residing in our skulls.

The matzah, that I enjoy eating for 7 days, with its unleavened humility and lack of posturing, sitting there so flat and innocent on your seder plate and beyond, is the quintessential symbol of accepting God on His terms, not on my own.

When we discover that it is futile to reduce our relationship with G-d to our limited and narrow perspectives, then we realize that, on the contrary, the greatest delight in life is the ability to do something simply because God said so; as I has modeled for me by 4 amazing students at Longhorn Steakhouse the other night.

On the flipside, there's the atheist? You know, the child who doesn't believe anything in reality...The truth is, there is no human being without beliefs, without faith. Belief is to humankind as sunlight is to the forest, as the saltwater to the ocean fauna. Without belief, there is no life.

If lovers didn’t believe "this is the one!" if couples didn’t believe "our children will be beautiful!" if parents didn’t believe, "one day they’ll grow up and it will all pay off"—oh, what a desolate world this would be.

At times, and I don't want to admit it, but the 3rd child is the wicked or rebellious son. But a more subtle and accurate translation is the "depressed son," or "the broken son." For, as we shall see, he’s not as wicked as we may make him out to be.

They (or should I say me), might ask: "What is this whole thing you have going on here serving God, being in a relationship with Him? As if He has time for you. If you believe in God, you have some audacity sitting there pretending that your small little actions can capture His interest and attention! Give me a break! Ouch! Where do these thoughts come from? As is often the case with rebels, cynics, mockers, scoffers, and alienated children, they suffer from profound internal pain. He cannot bring himself to believe that he has a beauty, a grace, to the extent that God Himself wants to connect with him. He asks a profound question: If God really exists, and God is infinite, it is absurd to believe that God cares about me and my behavior. It is ludicrous to assume that our lives have real, absolute meaning.

And if life is inherently meaningless, then the only way to numb the pain of meaninglessness is through distractions, addictions, gluttony, narcissism, and an obsession with materialism...now I understand myself a little better! Often, rebelliousness is born from an internal sense of worthlessness. My life does not matter; I am a random mistake, a speck of dust in an endlessly-ever-expanding universe.

This is a struggle many of us endure (speaking of me, myself and I). Sometimes we wake up in the morning passionate about life, love, and purpose; like God needs me; and other times, we just feel that nothing really matters. How can I celebrate something which is so meaningless?

Fortunately, the problem that I face is the solution! It's because I'm imperfect, so small in comparison to an infinite God, so easily tempted, so easily distracted, so mortal, flimsy, and weak...that is precisely why God chooses to forge a relationship with me!

It's not the grandeur of heaven or the angels who are enamored with His presence, what really captures His attention is when a small, fragile human fraught with troubles and imperfections shows up and says, "I'm here; I want to become Your partner in the work of repairing the world." The very purpose and objective of creation is that God wanted a relationship with something (that perceives itself as) "outside" of Himself—something that is not infinite, eternal, perfect, flawless. It is our "smallness" that He finds so attractive and irresistible. It is our simple humaneness that matters most.

There's a Hebrew expression that says, 'blunt his teeth'? Let me explain :-) Sometimes the bite of our children’s (spouse, friend, boss, sibling, etc.) teeth hurt. Can we look beyond the "teeth?" Can we disregard the scathing bite and listen to the whisper of their souls, buried beneath the biting, stinging, cutting, and piercing words? Does your child perhaps need more of your emotional presence? Does he/she need to feel your heart more? Does this child need more understanding and sensitivity?  Can you notice the underlying anxiety, depression, or trauma? Can you see the inner hopelessness, despair, and sense of worthlessness in this child’s brain?

For the 'wise son' out there, let me say that the gematria of 'teeth' is 366. The gematria of 'wicked' is 570. When we blunt his teeth, 570-366 = 204/tzaddik. In other words, when you remove the "teeth," the scathing biting words, you will see that inside this child is a Tzaddik, a glowing, beautiful, and sacred person! I call it, seeing them from the finish line!

If they'll allow us, we need to help them stop "biting" and viewing themselves as small, valueless, and meaningless. God loves you. He needs you. He wants you. He is so proud of you! You are small? Sure, that’s exactly why he wants you and cares for you—as the infinite God was searching for a relationship with the finite soul who fuses the infinite with the finite.

Let's finish this long monologue with the selfish or 'I am the complete son'. He is the exact opposite. If the rebel or cynic thinks he is worthless and God would never really care about his actions, the "complete" person represents that internal voice which grows arrogant to the point it feels all success and failure is predicated on human action alone.

The complete son, or the selfish child, declares, "What’s this?" See how well I am doing. I am a success story. Why mix God into this? What’s this strange behavior of worshipping God? We will be just fine without Him.

This mindset does not think we are small and valueless. On the contrary, we are everything. We do not need or have anything above us. We are the masters of our own fate. We owe nothing to anyone.

God dealt with this child by taking us out of Egypt with a strong hand! On our own, we would not be able to lift a finger. We were liberated from Egypt, not due to our talents, but due to His "strong arm." Thank you, Lord!!

If you're like me, when things are going well, we tend to become smug and desensitized to the miracle of life. Is it normal that our universe and our planet continue to follow predictable rules we call the "laws of nature" allowing for the continuity of life? Is it logical that one cell develops into 40 trillion cells, each one containing the program manual for the entire organism? Is it rational that our tiny brain grows 100 billion neurons and 100 trillion connections? Is it sensical that the combination of seed, soil, air, water, and sunlight creates myriads of types of fruits, vegetables, plants, etc?!

At moments of bliss, when I feel I'm on top of the world and I do not need anybody. I tend to forget my humaneness and simplicity. I forget that every breath, heartbeat, every flow of vitality, inspiration, and energy comes from the Creator and source of all life.

So far we've seen the mindset of this boy doesn’t think everything needs to be rational (the wise son), doesn’t think life is meaningless and that God doesn’t treasure his actions (the depressed son), doesn’t think all his success and power comes from his own talents and ego (the complete son). What he says is, "Look, I'm here, you guys mean well, but my heart is just not here. This does not mean anything to me. It’s all boring."

The final person, who doesn't ask any questions or opinions, is simply the young man or woman who says: I just don’t care. I just have no emotions toward any of this. I do not know what to ask, because I do not care to ask. What do we do when 'we' are introduced to this child? We must open his or her heart. You must be the one to inspire them.

Honestly, there is no such a thing as a child who is truly careless and indifferent. That child does not exist. Rather, it is you who must open his or her heart. You may have not found the right words or the right approach. Perhaps you may have to look deeper into yourself and discover a much deeper and more authentic relationship with God. What comes from your heart will enter his/her heart. Work on yourself. Analyze your heart. See where you are coming from—is it from a place of love, or anger; from a place of acceptance, or intolerance; from a place of wholesomeness or insecurity. Every person wants to live a genuine life. Every person, deep down, craves truth, depth, dignity, and soulfulness. But if we don’t work on ourselves to make our faith deep and authentic, we may never reach them. It is not their fault; it is ours.

Chag Sameach Pesach!