5.19.25 ~ The Ultimate Marriage to Myself

Good morning!

With Pentecost, the establishment of the church/kahal/ekklesia (Ex. 19-24) and the renewing of the church/kahal/ekklesia (Acts 2) just 13 days away, the theme of proximity, intimacy and renewal come to the foreground.

Today is the 37th day, the 5th week and 2nd day of counting the omer and this morning I want to encourage you to consider marriage to yourself; a paradox that constitutes the very essence of life. Huh? Exactly!

Our marriage to our spouse is essentially our second marriage. Double huh? All of us experience a first marriage at the moment of birth, when our souls "marry" our bodies and they "move in" together for life.

The soul and the body are, at the beginning of their marriage, two opposites: one is physical and focused on physical survival (my body); the other is infinite consciousness, a wave of Divine infinity and oneness; formed by the breath of God (Gen. 2:7). One (at least initially) defines bliss as material pleasures (my body); the other longs for transcendence beyond the physical, and the ultimate truth. One craves physical safety and comfort; the other yearns for attachment and intimacy with the Source of all life, with the core and energy of all reality. One sees the objective of life as meeting its needs for survival; the other, to become one with God. The challenge we all face is providing an environment where both thrive together as one; the soul gains its intimacy and the body feels safe while experiencing God's creation to the fullest.

My mind went back to the old tv show 'Green Acres' with Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor. A farm man who married a big time city girl. He was a nice man and treated her respectfully. The first day, he taught her how to milk the cows; the second day, how to feed the mules; the third day, how to clean the horses. He gave her a comfortable bed near the stable, teaching her about the crow of the rooster that would awaken her...Yet her life was miserable. She wanted Manhattan square, not the country air.

He consulted his father-in-law in his state of confusion. "I am trying so hard to satisfy your daughter, to no avail. She is miserable. What am I to do?"

Dad's response, "You’re a fine and sincere young man. But you must understand: your wife grew up in the hustle bustle of city life, diamonds, a penthouse view; the life of the farm does not speak to her heart. You can't offer her what she needs because you have no concept that it exists.

This is a 'modern day story' of the soul that married the body. The body is Eddie Albert, the farmer, offering us success and power and all other kinds of potatoes and tomatoes. In practicality, most of us live thinking that we are poor farmers, seeking comfort and validation. That is why, however much we have, it is never enough. Because we are feeding ourselves the wrong thing. It can be everything the farmer has ever dreamed of, but it's still not enough because the 'city girl' has been raised on finer stuff.

Our bodies and animal consciousness/nephesh mean well. Our Divine soul is anxious, so the body tells our soul: Wait till you see what’s for breakfast. The body gives the soul the most delicious breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It creates comfort zones and ensures we get the validation, pleasure, affluence, and influence we crave. The poor animal soul thinks that if it becomes a celebrity, or gets some attention, or feels like a success story, life will be great. But, alas, we still have a void; the void of a soul yearning for attachment -- attachment to the ultimate reality, to God, the source and essence of all. The Divine soul does not need attention and validation; it craves an ego-death, so it can surrender completely and return to its source, the One Who gave it life and breath; the only true reality.

So the body (the farmer) takes the soul (the city girl) and provides it with workable coping mechanisms to ensure safety and comfort; it may even take the soul on beautiful vacations, build it a fine home, and grant it precious jewelry. It may help it become successful socially, financially, and maybe even religiously. But the delights of the "farm" will not do the trick. The soul is seeking the end of separateness; it is searching for oneness with the Divine; it misses God.

As the soul enters into a body for a lifelong "marriage," its self-expression becomes severely limited, as it is living with a partner who does not initially even understand its language. And unlike marriage, where you can run away from your spouse for a few hours, days, weeks, months and even years, to get some fresh air, the soul can never leave the body to take a break; it remains confined within the body. Sometimes, like in a marriage, the soul is completely ignored.

Yet, just as in a physical marriage that it is only as a result of the unity between man and woman that they can find their truest depth and achieve eternity, so it is with the marriage of soul and body. It is only in this world, while clothed in the body, that the soul can ascend beyond itself and reach heights completely impossible to reach if it were to remain "single" in the presence of God.

Only in this world, through its arduous work within and with the body and the animal consciousness, can the soul discover its truest self, its deepest relationship with God, most powerfully and intimately, one that was not possible in the paradise of heaven. Because it is here on earth that the soul needs to choose the relationship, own it, fight for it, and find the courage to choose trust over fear, surrender over shame and judgement of self and others. Only in the container of the body and animal soul are we given the choice to surrender our egoic mind to infinite oneness.

It is only on earth that we can experience transformation, completely going out of our fixed limitations and rebirthing ourselves. In heaven, we are what we are. On Earth, we can transform ourselves. An addict can experience recovery; an obnoxious, self-centered man can become noble and kind; a crooked liar can become an honest human being. An anxious person can learn trust; a depressed individual can learn to surrender; an angry or envious person can heal the mother or father wound; a man or woman immersed in self-shame and loathing can heal the sense of abandonment and discover their oneness with God. In this world, we can make real changes. True growth is possible.

And finally, only in this world, can we fulfill God’s commandments/mitzvot and perform Divine deeds. The "children" created by the marriage of body and soul—through which they connect to God Himself, in his deepest essence and core.

This is counting the omer! Allowing the 'city girl' inside of us, who longs for the highest heights, to merge perfectly with the 'farmer'. Two opposite worlds married for a lifetime. The question we should ask ourselves is, "Am I willing to allow the 'soul' (city girl) to attain her deepest needs in my 'body' (farmer)?

Happy 37th day of counting the omer!

Shalom,
Alan

Zoom call tonight at 8:00 PM: Behar/on the mount: "Hearing from God, when He knows I'm ready and willing to obey"