12 11 25 – Indecision
When Scripture uses language that references movement upward—such as lift up, rise up, ascend, go up—it is an allusion to resurrection. When Scripture uses the language of going down, it is an allusion to going into exile (Gen. 38:1; 39:1).
For Judah, it was a chosen exile (Gen. 38:1). For Joseph, it was forced (Gen. 39:1). Currently, we are in exile, away from the land of our inheritance. While we are here, there will be many "forbidden fruits" that offer themselves to you. For Joseph, it was Mrs. Potiphar (Gen. 39:7–10).
Let's start off this morning with your forbidden fruit. My forbidden fruit is _______.
The Hebrew language does not have a word for ambivalence. But it does have a musical note for it. Shalsheles is the musical cantillation note on a Torah scroll that makes a whining sound like a siren—it gets louder, then softer, and repeats over and over again. It is found only four times in the Torah (Gen. 19:16; 24:12; 39:8; and Lev. 8:23). Each time it appears, there is a picture of emotional paralysis: I don't have the fortitude, the courage, the clarity to be able to forge ahead with decisive, unwavering commitment. I'm stuck! Do you know the feeling?
That's why the shalsheles looks like a zigzag or a lightning bolt: I go here, but then I go back. I go here and I go back. I hesitate and I procrastinate. That's what the word shalsheles means: I'm chained by something. I'm shackled. I'm stuck.
In this week's Torah portion, Vayeshev ("and he dwelt"), Joseph, during his personal exile, refuses to surrender or succumb to the incessant pleas and demands of Potiphar's wife to be with him. Commentaries describe how she dressed up every day in three different garments, how she offered him the greatest rewards, and then threatened him with the most heinous punishments and torture if he did not give in to her. In Joseph's refusal, there is a shalsheles—the musical note that says, "I'm ready to move forward. OK. Go for it. Do it. No, don't. Retreat." Back and forth the shalsheles goes.
Joseph refused, but it did not come without profound struggle. It did not come without a profound battle, as the Gemara describes. According to one opinion, Joseph almost surrendered in the end, but at the last moment, he managed to take the courageous step forward and abstain from that moment of regrettable indulgence.
We—speaking of me, myself, and I—have to realize that there are moments in life when we are stuck in that shalsheles, when there are chains of temptation, forbidden fruit that threatens to hold us down, threatens to force us from our vision, from our soul, and threatens to overwhelm us. Along the way, it's important to remember that shalsheles is a normal part of the journey. It's part of the fabric of the human psyche. Without it, overcoming isn't necessary, and there is no need for a reward to the overcomer.
It is at such a moment when you have to employ that vision and the clarity of knowing what is healthy, what is unhealthy, what is productive, what is destructive, what has brought you benefit before, and what has brought disaster (Deut. 32:29). And once you've done that, you will have to have the courage to say, "No!"
Shalom,
Alan
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