12 26 25 – Not So Obvious, Mr. Obvious

During this winter wonderland season of Hanukkah and Christmas, I have had encounter after encounter connecting pieces of life's puzzle—one of self-awareness. Almost every conversation and every activity seemed to bring this theme to the surface.

Conclusion: we owe our very existence to those who have influenced us. If we are to repay this debt, we must constantly show compassion and love toward one another. Unfortunately, as with our own lives, Scripture is filled with stories that failed to live up to this theme of compassion and love. Can you relate?

At the end of Genesis (Gen. 37–50), we study the life of Joseph and the relationship he had with his family members. This story begs us to ask some very interesting questions! For instance, why did Joseph not let his family know he was okay? A postcard? Text message? Marco Polo? Facebook Messenger? Why did he put his brothers through such trauma when they were hungry? If Joseph recognized his brothers, why did he hide his identity (Gen. 42:8)? Why did he hide the silver cup in Benjamin's sack? These questions and many more just scratch the surface for the inquiring mind. The answers to all these questions and more have their root in the Hebrew word for recognize (va-yaker)—a great word for our twenty-first-century minds to recognize :-)

It is more than "vengeance is mine, says Joseph"! It is linked to the word for self-estrangement (va-yitnaker). Huh?

Within himself, he becomes alien to himself. Double huh? Sounds strange, doesn't it? Is it possible that we could be alienated from ourselves? How did this happen? How could it happen? It came as a result of the brothers not recognizing him as a brother. Because of that, he was incapable of knowing or having compassion for himself. Stick with me, please :-). It is too important!

Consequently, our thought of Joseph "toying" with his brothers to gain revenge is not as accurate as we might think at first blush. Joseph is reacting to a deep-seated trauma that prohibits him from revealing himself, because his family-induced trauma keeps him from knowing himself. This is not Mr. Obvious—this requires a little thinking in our own lives.

The trauma of Isaac is reproduced in the life of Isaac's grandson, Joseph. Isaac's father, the great patriarch Abraham, failed to recognize his son at the binding (akedah). Isaac's world is shattered when he sees that his father is willing to kill him to honor what could be considered, in the midst of the circumstances, a fickle God. Isaac spends the rest of his life fleeing from this event. And as we have discovered, Jacob is not immune to the trauma of the akedah either. Now we find that the traumatic disruption to self-identity is carried forward to the grandson.

We have all been affected by this! Hence, the majority—if not all of us—more times than not, find ourselves scratching out this existence in survival mode. It is definitely not fun to think about how the environments we have been raised in have had such a powerful influence on our own ability to know ourselves in times of crisis. Somewhere in the great human drama of our lives, we became disconnected from ourselves. We lost the love and concern of the Father, and as a result, we continue to deal with trauma in the most subtle of ways. Perhaps the story of the patriarchs is a narrated attempt to show us that there is a way to reconnect. At any rate, the story forces us to deal with things we have kept hidden.

The artery—or should I say the oughtery—needs to be cauterized to stop the bleeding. It is a giant step of faith to allow the Father to help us recognize what has been established in us. It is an issue from coast to coast and border to border on every continent. Many have been beaten to a pulp emotionally, not recognized, and oftentimes find it near impossible to resolve the issues or treat people properly outside of their own wounds. It is an epidemic across the world. How do we cauterize the oughtery?

The first step to every solution is hakernah—"recognize, please." Once we have recognized, we can heal.

With 2025 drawing to a close, as well as our studies in Genesis (which never end :-), may we all recognize what it takes to reunite families to wholeness. For too many of us, the elephant is in the room being ignored instead of hakernah.

Alan

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