6.15.26 – Where Do I Belong?

 In last week's Torah portion, Shelach ("send"), we find the purpose for the entire journey of God's people lost in a single decision. What caused that decision is multifaceted, but the end result is the same. The generation that had it all lost it through murmuring, complaining, and faithless actions toward God and one another.

It is all about the Land—the destination of our calling as Abraham's seed. But you ask, "What is so significant about the Land?" Simply put, every prophecy ever spoken was either given in the Land or is about the Land, which is the central focus of God's vision for mankind! Ironically, in last week's and this week's Torah portions, there are principalities and powers to deal with on the way to the Land. Some are overtly obvious, and others work behind the scenes without you even knowing it. One of the greatest adversaries that we all face is the pain of the past, hungering to manifest itself in the present, so it can limit our future.

It is probably fair to say that we are all guilty of looking at life through the lens of personal pain. Consequently, it creates offense and people living defensively and in a stagnant quagmire of poisonous water.

Over the past couple of months, with our studies on grace, blood, etc., we have been building toward unity within the body of the Messiah. But any time you press forward, you are going to run into opposition and self-righteous positions of superiority rather than humble positions of patience with younger, less experienced believers (Rom. 13–15).

Many of our conversations have led us to a soul-searching question: "Where do I belong and where do I feel safe?" The answer can be a little scary because it is hard to find. However, the answer is quite simple. It is the place where you feel completely accepted, warts and all. Where are you safe enough to be transparent about your feelings, your confusion, your concerns? Where are you welcomed to share yourself without trying to meet the unwarranted expectations of someone else? Where do you feel that you will not be blamed for something? Where you will not be treated as if you are not worthy of being loved because you have failed in the past? Do you have a place like that? Are you providing a place like that?

King David knew of only one place where he felt this way (Ps. 31:1). It was in the presence of the Lord that he put his trust. For there, he knew that God's righteousness conformed in his life would be what would see him through any circumstance, especially when it came to landmark decisions in life.

All across the world, we have programs designed to help people get to this trusting place. They exist because most of the time we are not safe. Most of the time, we feel (whether it is true or not) that we are expected to live up to someone else's standard (even if that standard is now an internal tape playing in our minds), to be someone else, someone who makes the other person comfortable. Most of the time we simply cannot admit our struggles, some or all of them, without feeling rejected, subtly unloved, or unworthy.

What people need today, more than anything, according to my personal opinion (which happens to be right, LOL), is a safe haven where they can unburden themselves of the guilt and shame hidden from everyone else. Some have misjudged the role of prophets in Scripture as harsh, black and white, "toe the line or else." However, when we examine them closely, there was much more to their lives than warning and instruction to God's people. They were safe. Oh, I do not mean passive or amenable or accommodating. They certainly were not any of those things. No, they were safe because they spoke the heart of God, not the judgments of men. If they accused, it was God's judgment spoken for the sake of restoration, forgiveness, and healing, so that God's grace could be experienced in greater measure. King David knew this very well (Prov. 27:6).

David tells us in Psalm 31:1 that he has taken refuge (ḥasah) in the Lord (Yahweh). The verb ḥasah is used to describe fleeing for protection or confiding in hope of acceptance. That is what most of us need—a place of protection. David recognizes that this comes ultimately from the Lord.

In the human arena, everyone else may fail. No one is exempt from uttering a harsh word of rejection, even unintentionally. Everyone knows the sting. So David's words are especially important—timeless reminders of the true meaning of God's provision. That is not some promise of escape into a perfect world of self-preservation, but an experience of being completely accepted despite our sordid histories. Grace is discovering someone else knows us—and does not turn away!

Of course, David's plea does not seem like reality. "Let me never be ashamed" is not very likely. Did he mean "forever let me not be ashamed"? What I think he really meant was an indefinite continuance, past and future. In other words, grace gives me space, perhaps in both temporal directions (if I were to be Greek about it). As long as God loves me, I am worthy, regardless of the opinions (the fearful ones) of others. It is just incredibly hard to maintain that perspective in a world of comparisons.

Our feelings toward the Lord God will determine a lot about our reaction when it comes to making decisions to enter or refuse the Promised Land! It is still Promised, and it is still the calling for everyone in Meshiach Yeshua!

Shalom,
Alan