11.13.26 – Being Authentic

The Jacob and Esau story can leave us scratching our heads. Who is who? Do clothes make the man? Sometimes it is hard to figure people out. How do we authentically live, authentically for real? In this day and age—like my client who has not paid the full amount for my work—it is not as easy as it sounds. Authenticity goes against every fear, worry, and anxiety of our social compulsions for acceptance, and our ego's constant fear of being exposed and demolished... that is really scary!

It usually takes a few years of seasoning in this world before we come to grips with not allowing society to determine our course of direction. If you are in that boat already, then the following thoughts will be a review of your life journey. If you have not confidently arrived YET, these thoughts may propel your courageous (chazak) button to be pushed a little more often.

The most important concept to living authentically is... own your own goobers. Quit making excuses. If you blew it, admit it. If you succeed, let another individual praise you (Prov. 27:2). No matter what you do, do it for the glory of God (Col. 3:17) and be mature in all your interactions.

Life does not always feel fair... stop whining, griping, and murmuring; it is exhausting (Num. 14:2).

As Zig Ziglar, of blessed memory, would say, "You are not a garbage dump; do not let people dump their trash cans on your back porch"—and I might add, "do not dump yours either." Today, others might say, Quit being a zoo for other people's monkeys and problems (2 Cor. 6:14–7:1). This is easily solved when you do not tolerate people who gossip, act disrespectfully, or are generally unpleasant. Do as Yeshua said and turn the other cheek (Matt. 5:39)... and I do not mean the one on your face... I am being tongue-in-cheek... walk away and stay away (1 Cor. 15:33). Fundamentally, you get in life what you tolerate—hence the condition of our country and the lives of the people who make up this country. Fortunately, people are waking up to the "Folgers in their cup," and they are changing! If you have not joined this movement, start now. Do not put up with this world's shiitake, and your personal world will change to the standards that you keep for yourself and your life.

Frankly speaking, authentic people speak frankly (Matt. 5:37). They use radical candor (2 Cor. 1:17). They speak directly (James 5:12). They express feelings without attacking people or their pride; direct communication about your views and opinions regarding ideas, plans, and approaches to creative problem-solving opens the door to future potential.

Authentic people speak their mind fully and passionately. You know exactly where you stand with them and what their real opinions and viewpoints are. And when they share, they speak deeply. They leave the superficial conversations to those who want to traffic on the surface, which for too many is 99% of their dialogue. Do not be afraid to inquire and discuss real issues, real feelings, and real vulnerabilities. Being completely open and truly authentic is the greatest strength there is within any culture today. Unfortunately, it appears that most are doing just the opposite, hiding behind their masks and their pretend personas, so that when someone is willing to be real and truly reveal themselves, their authenticity drifts silently into space. Honestly, it is one of the most attractive, empathetic, connective, and awesome behaviors anyone can do. But for many of us, we have such a hard time allowing our ego conscience to believe that genuine authenticity is the power source of life.

In your transparent reality, be mindful to think for yourself. Do not just buy into the dogma of what is popular in your concentric circles. Do not just accept the beliefs, advice, and opinions of others. Run your "thinkings" through all your own rationale and reason filters to make what you end up believing, and become a product of your own conclusion. Be careful when you adapt the opinions of others around you to fit in. That "lazy river" mentality will just keep you floating in circles.

Let us draw this psychological and personal umbrella over Jacob and Esau to a close, especially since I did not deal with their story directly. When we choose to live authentically, we finally unlock the cell door and walk out of the person we have held ourselves captive in—so worried about the opinions, the feelings, the reactions, and the observations of other people. So much of our behavior is dictated by this compulsion far more than we are aware of. In fact, almost 100% of what we do in every interaction, all day, every day, is actually reacting to the views, the observations, and the opinions of others... what we buy, what we wear, where we go so that we can say we have been there... Nearly 100% of life is this way. It is driven by giving a hoot about what other people are going to think (Prov. 29:25). There is a fantastic comfort in finally living authentically. If you can truly embrace these umbrella thoughts of Jacob and Esau, most likely we will not experience the conflict their family had (Rom. 15:4).

Shalom!
Alan

www.lightintorah.org

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