11.18.25 ~ Family Dynamics

Good morning!

Life is complicated! Family can be even more complicated! Have you ever noticed that the entire book of Genesis, the foundation of our faith, is about broken, dysfunctional families and the attempt to restore them over time? Most failed. Some kept it at bay. Other's made progress, all the way to Joseph;  the rectification of Esau (more on this on Shabbat).

Challenged families...I don't think anyone is exempt from this reality. However, if you are from the 'leave it to Beaver Cleaver' household, then I want to congratulate you and please keep modeling the ideal and the rest of us will catch on :-)

All of life is predicated in the first few years of our development and what philosophies have been imparted into our lives through the formative years; even without our choosing. The 'torah/instructions' that we were reared in, whether Scriptural or not, have formulated a lot of our current responses to challenges, stress, belief and partly to our destinies.

With every passing week in our Torah studies, through Genesis, we find the story line appears more convoluted then the membranes of cellular mitochondria and as diversely complicated as a single DNA strand. Since Adam and his honey bunny, things have gotten more complicated. Take for instance the mother and father of our faith, Abraham and Sarah. How many times did Abraham put his honey bunny in awkward positions? Oodles and boodles of times! Amazingly, she followed, possibly to her own detriment?? She followed him out of the Ur of Chaldees. She went along with Abraham’s self-protective scheme when he shipped her off to Pharaoh’s harem.  She let him lead her across unknown lands...

In this week's Torah portion, Toldot/generations, we see the results of family life when perceived favoritism is shown (Gen. 25:28). Where did it originate? How did Isaac and Rebekah fall into that? Did they learn it from Abraham and Sarah, with Isaac and Ishmael? Sometimes hurtful events in the past dictate our responses in the future. It seems that from the time that Sarah was betrayed in Egypt, that that event impacted her mindset the rest of her days towards those around her.

She didn't mince words that she hated Hagar, a hatred she initiated (Gen. 16:1-10). Through that hatred she demanded that Abraham “Get rid of that handmaid.”  Why would Abraham do that?  How much does guilt act as motivator? We can only speculate, but we can sure identify, can't we? What is the resulting trauma to Ishmael?  How does he respond? Why does Isaac seek out Ishmael after the Akeidah?  Why does Esau marry Ishmael’s daughter? What happens to the marriage of Abraham and Sarah?  Why do they end up in two separate locations?  Why is the only expression of Abraham’s love for Sarah found in the text about her death (Gen. 23:2)? Sarah compares herself with Hagar.  Does Abraham compare her?  Which one is obedient?  Which one is gentle?

Do we see any of these learned behaviors in the life of Jacob, Leah and Rachel?  Does Jacob learn favoritism from Isaac and Rebekah. Are his two wives any different than Abraham’s?

Life is full of questions isn't it? Sometimes we get so obsessed with the past, that those questions and/or those realities cling to us like a 'ball and chain' around our ankles.

In the lives of the Patriarchs, there are more lessons then you can shake a stick at! As we've discussed before, we are all good at finding what we want to find, because we live in a world that thrives on confirmation bias. What's Yahsome, about a day-to-day relationship with Yeshua is the fresh insights we receive coming to ourselves (lech lecha) and the beautiful destiny that we're being called to.

Life is filled with disappointments from the past. Some towards us and other's we've caused. The future, however, can be as fresh and new as the sunrise and His mercies, which are new every morning (Lam. 3:22,23; Psa. 30:5; Psa. 113:1-9;).

Giving thanks in all things! More than a Thanksgiving slogan :-)

Shalom!
Alan

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