6.19.25 ~ His Will in His Time

Good morning!

Have you ever made a 'huge blunder' and, after the fact, tried desperately to redeem yourself?

This weekend's Torah portion, shelach lecha/go out to yourself, is filled with adventure and dozens of questions. One of the most perplexing questions that rises within the portion is found in Numbers 14:40.

The 12 spies/meraglim have gone into the land, they have brought back up an evil report against the land. Consequently, the Lord has made the ultimate decision to cut off that generation from entering into their inheritance, the Promised Land (Num. 14:20-36; Heb. 6:4-6). After the judgment from God falls, the people recognize the error of the ways, they repent, and they seek to make rectification for what they have done by attempting to carry out the original will of God, and what He called them to do (Deut. 6:23-25). But, instead, they were defeated in battle as they attempted to go up into the Land to fulfil their calling. From an outsider's point of view, it appears that they had done everything right - after they did everything wrong (Num. 13:26:14:10), so why were they defeated in battle (Num. 14:45)?

What is the problem here? Moses tells them that they are not going to prosper and they shouldn’t go up to fight the enemy because the Lord is not among them (Num. 14:41,42); the reality of their original fear that brought on Amalek (Ex. 17:7).

And Moses said, “Now why do you transgress the command of the LORD? For this will not succeed. “Do not go up, lest you be defeated by your enemies, for the LORD is not among you.
(Num. 14:41,42)

The mistake that they are making is that they objectively think that their responsibility is to go into the land of Israel. At this point, the enquiring mind might be asking, "wasn't that the whole purpose why they were delivered out of Egypt (Deut. 6:23–25)?" In their mind they are thinking, regardless of what happened from their calling - to the rebellion - to the repentance - back to their calling again, that’s the right thing for them to do. It’s a good thing to do. They didn’t do it at the right time and now they’re going to do it to make up for what they failed to do.

Moses, however, is telling them that it is not about doing what is good instead of evil (Num. 13:32). In other words something that is good is not always good if it’s not in the right timing. Something good can become rebellious if it’s out of alignment with the timing of God and the way He wants it done; this is known as idolatrous worship/avodah zarah. There’s an expression that I've heard around the 'spiritual breakroom' which says, 'delayed obedience is still disobedience'...in this case it's definitely true.

The real issue that lifts up its head is: will I be on the constant look out for God's will?! What does the Lord want from me at this very moment? Even if two minutes ago, God wanted me to do something, and now two minutes later I assume that that’s exactly what he wants me to do that is not necessarily the case. I need to learn to listen to what He’s asking moment by moment, especially if I have been disobedient.

Moses is telling them to listen very carefully. Don’t just go under the pretense of “old manna” (i.e. this is what He told me 3 years ago). What the Lord actually wants from me right now, in my disobedient state, is not to go up into the land, but to listen and wait for His next instructions. By going up to fight for the land, they are ignoring what God‘s will was for them at this moment, and therefore Moses tells them God is not among you (Num. 14:42).

They, as we often do, were looking at the Commandments as though they were separate from God. This has been the problem with the nation of Israel, and God's people's lives over the centuries. And this is what caused the children of Israel to go into captivity. They were keeping sabbath, they were keeping the holidays, they were doing everything externally, but they were disconnected from the Lord intimately. They were keeping the letter of the law, but they were not keeping the spirit of the law. They were holding onto the ceremonies, they were holding onto the korbanot/offerings, they were holding onto all the traditions, but they were forgetting the essence of what the Lord actually wanted from them. They were getting caught up in the minutia: if we just do this or that, or do that or this, everything will be perfect. Everything will be right. But that wasn’t the case. Which begs us to ask the question: 'am I listening to what the Lord is telling me to do at this moment? Moving when He tells me to move, staying still when He’s telling me to stand still. Or have I disconnected the commandments from the Commander?

Are we looking for the appearance of spirituality with the external rituals or are we looking for God's will? As the beginning of the Torah portion says, shelach lecha/send out to find yourselves, they were not looking inside of themselves to see what the Lord wanted them to do. They were stuck and just doing what they thought was good, rather than doing what was right at the time.

We (speaking of me, myself and I) sometimes think that whenever we do teshuvah/repent, everything‘s gonna go back to normal. I try to convince myself that I can just pick up where I left off. But as we see in this story, it doesn’t always work like that. The present reality is different. So, what I have to ask now is, 'what does the Lord want me to do at this moment'?

It’s not about resetting reality, it's about resetting my heart within the new reality. It’s not about a set of rules, but it’s about asking, at this moment, 'what does the Lord want me to do'? When I look at the commandments as just rituals...God is not there. There’s no relationship there. But if I’m looking at those commandments and those rituals, as the manifestation of His character acting through me, while listening to Him in the midst of those actions, maintaining that intimacy with Him...then, life is 'hunky dorey' and we are joined together as the Word Who was made flesh instructed (Jn. 1:14; Matt. 11:28)!

It’s really up to us, isn't it? The way we approach the Torah/His instructions, His commandments, the rituals, will determine whether the presence of the Lord is there with and within us!

On this 19th day of counting towards the first fruit of the wine, may we all ask ourselves, regardless of the past (+ or - ) "What do you want me to do"? "I'm listening."

Shalom!